Did you know that a simple mindset shift can help doing chores feel better to you? 

Keep reading to learn how.

I recently visited a friend who was having a hard time emotionally. We spent some quality time together, and after a good heart-to-heart conversation, they looked around their room, saw the clothes and other items strewn out all over the floor, and said… “Wow, I’m not really taking care of myself right now…” 

And that really stuck with me, because when people think of self-care, they typically imagine facemasks, baths, and cucumbers on their eyes. But a lot of times, taking care of ourselves isn’t glamorous, sparkly, or bubbly.

When we feel cruddy, sometimes we forget to take care of ourselves in the most basic ways. 

There’s no shame in this. Because, let’s be honest, we’ve all been there. But when we’re in this place, self-care doesn’t look the way we typically picture it. 

Instead, it’s washing that coffee mug that has been sitting for days. It’s picking up the dirty clothes off the floor. It’s putting your stacks of papers back in the folders or drawers where they belong. 

Basic chores are the most important kind of self-care. 

And yet, we resent them a lot of the time. Sure, they can get old and monotonous because we’ve done them a thousand times, but at the end of the day, they are still really good for us. 

To explain how, I have to tell you about a session I had with a client who HATED vacuuming.

She had a busy schedule and too much on her plate, and she felt like she just couldn’t do it all. When she got home from work, vacuuming was the very last thing she wanted to do, so she avoided it at all costs. 

Like, if she had to choose between walking on hot coals and vacuuming, she would’ve gladly burned. 

But through our conversation, she had a mindset shift that helped her go from resenting and avoiding this chore to feeling good about doing it. 

“I deserve to live in a clean house,” she said. 

“And when I do it, I’m giving myself that. I’m giving myself the gift of a clean house.” 

With this, vacuuming became more than just a chore, it was a way that she could take care of herself and her mental health.

Vacuuming wasn’t just something she had to do. It was something she could do for her. 

And even if she still disliked the action of vacuuming, this helped her feel better about doing it. 

This mindset shift can make many mundane chores feel more like favors to ourselves. 

There are so many tasks in our lives that we grow to resent because we do them so often and tell ourselves “I have to do this” “I have to do that,” and when we “have to” do something, it feels like we’re being coerced to do something we don’t want to do. 

But when you look at it another way, the whole reason chores exist is because we’re upholding a standard of living for ourselves. 

Every time we wash the dishes, we’re saying “I deserve to have clean pans and plates to use. I deserve to have a kitchen that doesn’t smell like rotten vegetables”. And the same goes for any other chore we choose to do.

You deserve to have it done. And you can do it for you.

If you do tasks in a way that feels like it is for you, you’re less likely to resist doing it. 

For example, I’ve been trying to eat healthier lately. So I’ve been getting my hands on tons of fresh produce and looking at recipes with a wide variety of plants in them.

But when I expressed my excitement about trying them, someone said to me “Healthy eating is so much work.”

For a moment, I was deterred. “Oh yeah,” I realized, “I’m going to have to spend a lot more time preparing meals if I want to keep up with this. 

Which sounded like a burden.

But then came the mindset shift. 

Instead of “I have to spend more time prepping meals,” it became…

 “I am prepping these meals for myself.”

and

“This is a gift I’m giving to me, so I can feel proud of one more way I take care of myself.”

I think it’s similar to the feeling of pride people feel after a workout. Perhaps during the workout it hurts. Sometimes it downright sucks. But afterwards you get to say “I did that. And I did it for me.”

Plus, you usually feel better after it’s done.

In Conclusion

Although reframing your chores doesn’t make them go away (as I’m sure many of us would love), it can make these tasks feel less like a burden and more purposeful overall. 

So the next time you find yourself procrastinating a chore, ask yourself “How could this be for me?” And “Can I do this in a way that makes it feel more like it’s for me?”

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Cheers, 

Morgan Rita Barbret