Are you wanting to finally start a project you’ve been putting off?

Whether it be decluttering a space, creating something, or checking an intimidating task off our to-do list, there’s probably a part of us that would LOVE to avoid starting that project to the ends of the earth (if we let ‘em).

But today, we’re going to *compassionately* not let that happen.

Note: This post is for multiple people whom I love very much, all of whom have their own projects they really want to start, but at the same time… don’t want to do them. There is a really simple and pleasant way to overcome this. So to whoever needs to hear this, I see you. And we’re going to make this happen. 

First: Acknowledge The Weight

For almost every person I know, life is significantly harder and more stressful now than it was a few years ago. All of us have been through a significant amount of change that we had little chance to prepare ourselves for. 

So, if you’ve been through some sh** over the last couple years, know that your resistance to starting a project right now makes sense. 

When we go through a higher concentration of stressful events, all those experiences can add a mildly heavy feeling to everyday life: Like a fog in our field of vision. 

Sure, we handle it, we take one step after the other, we do our best to keep a good attitude about it. But right now, in the context of current events, cultural shifts, international politics, losses and grievances, widespread discrimination & conflict, etc. it’s even harder to start things than it has been in the past. That’s okay, and even a little predictable! 

You’re SO not alone. 

I bring this up because SO many of us are quick to blame ourselves when we’re unable to just “do” what we consciously know we “should do” or what we said we “would do.” 

But this isn’t a personal failing. This isn’t a sign that there’s something wrong with you. It’s a sign that you are experiencing a weight, whether that be stress, burnout, grief/loss, conflict/strain on a relationship, you name it. 

In other words, it’s not just you. It’s part of a broader context!

The Good News

Acknowledging this weight can make it easier to move forward (and start our projects!), because in that acknowledgment of the weight, we are replacing self-judgment (“Why can’t I make myself do this? What’s wrong with me?”) with self-compassion (“I recognize I’m experiencing stress and/or having a hard time right now, and it makes sense considering the events happening around me”)

Second: Work With Yourself, Not Against Yourself

There are two distinct ways we can try to “get ourselves to start”. And one of them isn’t working.   

By force 

This involves a level of harshness, often unintended, and an attitude that encourages you to ignore your resistance and just “push through.” (Similarly to how a tough athletic coach might push you to run or swim faster.)

This approach involves thoughts including: “I need to…” “I should…” “Just do it already…” “No more excuses,” “I need to just go/do it.” 

Some people are able to make progress with this… as long as it doesn’t morph into self-blame But there’s always a risk that it does. It sounds like… “Maybe there’s something wrong with me, I don’t understand why I can’t make myself do this”.

And if you’re reading this, there’s a chance that trying to start via forcing yourself is just making you feel bad. 

Through Joy

This involves working with yourself to find an approach that feels good to you. Since each of us has limited willpower to use every day, finding ANY way to make an aspect of your project feel good or exciting will greatly decrease your resistance to doing it, and therefore increase your chances of making progress.

To do this successfully, you may have to let go of ideas of how the project “should be done” like, “The first step I need to take for this project is…” or, “I have to do it in this order.” 

Being willing to start from somewhere that is not the beginning allows us some flexibility to meet ourselves where we are at. 

This especially reminds me of working in the writing center and helping students write essays. So many people felt like they needed to write the first paragraph of their paper first. But as long as they were attached to coming up with a strong start, they couldn’t bring themselves to actually start. 

Once I told the students they could start with a part of their essay that was in the middle, or perhaps just free write about something they knew they wanted to say in their essay, they’d start spilling sentences onto the page as easily as water comes out of a faucet.

The other piece of starting with enjoyment is being open to “bettering” the project by adding something you love/enjoy to the equation. 

How to Start Through Joy

The easiest way to start through enjoyment is to consult ourselves. 

Your core self knows what you enjoy, and knows what tasks come easier to you than others. So ask yourself questions like, “What part of this project do I think I will enjoy the most?” or “When I’ve done something like this in the past, which parts came the most easily for me?” 

For some, finding a place to start through enjoyment will be harder, especially if they don’t particularly like their project… in that case try this exercise. 

Exercise: 

1. Make a list of a few tasks involved in your project. 
2. If any of the tasks feel overwhelming or big when you look at them, split them into smaller tasks. 
3. Go down the list and ask yourself, “Which of these options do I feel the least amount of resistance to doing right now?” and “Is there any way I can make this more enjoyable/pleasant for me?” 

Suggestions for making a task more enjoyable:

Since I know most people are more used to the force method than the enjoyment method, here’s a few ideas for adding enjoyment to your tasks. (Hint, usually a small adjustment will do the trick!)

1. Invite someone you like to help you or spend time with you while you work on it.
2. Make yourself a nice beverage you enjoy to have while you work on it
3. Choose a task that feels easy, and takes little time to complete, so you can get a quick win early on!
4. Put on some music to enjoy while you do it.
5. Put on clothes that are either comfortable or make you feel good. You can arbitrarily dub them as your “ *Insert project* clothes”
6. Find the equivalent of a “warm up” for your project, instead of jumping right in, pick something you can do to gently help yourself transition into working on it. 

Whatever you do, let your adjustments be born from your understanding of what it is YOU uniquely enjoy. The way I would make something enjoyable for me would be different from the way my partner or my friends would make something enjoyable for them, so this is all about connecting with yourself and what feels good to you!

Lastly,

Remember that starting with joy is a practical strategy because it’s a way we can intentionally work with the way our brains work, not against them.

It’s as simple as

Less resistance = more progress

And

More joy = less stress

If you’d like to read another posts about “starting” a project or goal, look no further! Check out:

“7 Ways to Start the Goal That Scares You” 

Thanks so much for reading.

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Did this post resonate with you? If so, I’d love to hear from you! Leave a comment or send me a message to share your thoughts. For more uplifting content, check out some other posts on my blog, follow me on instagram @morgan_barbret, or sign up for the Self Love Atlas Newsletter!

Cheers, 

Morgan Rita Barbret