When something changes the way we view ourselves (aka we face an identity shift), many of us say things like “I need to get it together.” At the same time, we feel less certain of ourselves, we feel like we’re lacking direction and clarity. And although we want to move on and move forward, we can’t decide what the next step is because we’re not even sure what it is we’re trying to achieve. When we’re feeling like this, sometimes it’s best to just… do nothing.

To understand why, imagine the following scenario.

You can breath underwater, and you’re sitting on the bottom of a shallow lake. You’re trying to get somewhere, and you’ve been swimming along, one stroke at a time. But a little ways into your journey, you notice a storm is passing through.

So instead of all the sand laying at the bottom of the lake, it starts to get kicked up. It swirls around and eventually clouds your vision, preventing you from seeing any more than a few inches in front of your face.

While you could technically try to continue doing whatever you were doing before this storm came. It would be a lot harder to tell where you’re going than it was before. You could theoretically try to fight through the storm, try to proceed as if nothing had changed, but there’s a chance you’ll end up swimming in the wrong direction.

On the other hand, you could also wait a short time for the storm to pass, save your energy, and allow the sand to settle.

If we keep pushing ourselves during the storm, we’re going to tire ourselves out, and potentially cause the murkiness to last even longer by adding to the mixing.

But if we can be still, if we can just observe and reflect and let the storm pass, then by the time it’s over we’ll have a much clearer way out and way forward.

Right now, I feel like everything is kicked up.

The sand is swirling around me and I’m not quite sure where I’m heading.

Instead of pushing through, as hustle culture would encourage me to do, I’m choosing to pause and allow some stillness. Because if I keep kicking and swimming around, I’ll only be delaying my own clarity.

Taking that stillness for myself and/or for you might involve cancelling plans, turning off notifications or devices, returning to some creature comforts, napping, etc. But whatever it is, know that it can be just as productive as any other kind of work, because it allows us to check in with ourselves so we don’t accidentally swim away from what we really want.

If you have a feeling that big things are changing internally, then do whatever you need to let the sand settle, so you’ll be ready to keep going when the coast is clear.

Best,

Morgan Rita Barbret

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