Ever since our routines were disrupted by the ongoing coronavirus pandemic, I’ve heard numerous references to people “working in pajamas” or “not wearing pants” to video calls. While I am happy that many people have had the chance to remain “comfortable” in some ways (however small), there’s something that worries me about it. If no-one feels compelled to “get ready” when they aren’t seeing other people, then are we only dressing for other people? 

Sure, we are aware that much of “keeping up our reputation” or “upholding our image” is about managing the way others view us. But I’d like to argue that the way you get ready in the morning should be for you too. 

For many people, performing and upholding a reputation is “just what you have to do” to get what you want. And on many levels, I agree with that. Dressing and acting professionally reaps many benefits and can grant you many more opportunities and good favors in your life. 

At the same time, if I tell you to dress for what you want professionally, I also run the risk of encouraging you to do something that doesn’t quite match who you want to be personally.

So instead, I want to encourage you to dress for the person you want to be. 

What Does That Mean?

Dressing for the person you want to be is simply a broader version of dressing for the job you want. Instead of dressing with the specific intention of working towards a better job, you dress with the intention of working towards a better version of yourself.

Of course, “dressing for the person you want to be” could include dressing nicely. But it isn’t about impressing anyone else. It’s about caring for yourself and showing up for yourself even when no-one else is watching.

The nice thing about this is that, “dressing for the person you want to be” is something anyone can participate in, regardless of their professional prospects, even if they aren’t employed. 

When you decide to “show up” for yourself in ways that match the person you want to be, it feels good. It makes you feel congruent and in integrity with yourself. But if all you ever dress for is a job or other people, you might miss out on that feeling. 

I think the main difference between these two approaches is that dressing for yourself is more authentic, and based on how you feel on the inside, rather than based on how others will judge/perceive you. 

For example, when I dressed for my ideal job, I’d look in the mirror and think “Great! I look presentable and professional.” Presentable and professional were things I wanted other people to see.  

But when I dressed for myself I’d think, “Yes! This represents my personality well, this matches who I want to be,” which was based on my own values and preferences. 

In both cases, I was waking up early and taking the time to “look nice,” but the reason behind the action was different. 

Dressing For You is a Form of Self-Care

Dressing for the person you want to be is meant to help you express yourself in ways that feel good to you.

For some people, this self exploration could lead them to find that they love colorful scarves or space-earrings. Perhaps another person would learn that they enjoy soft sweaters, music-note prints, or running shoes. It literally could be anything. As long as whatever is on your outside makes you feel good on the inside, you’re golden. 

Note: don’t place another person’s opinion in higher esteem than your own, because no-one else can ever know what will feel right to you. 

Every moment you take to put on things that fit the above description (and wear them proudly), you’re caring for yourself and contributing to your own happiness. 

**Please do not interpret this as a reason to go out and spend all of your money. At first, this process might involve just sifting through your own closet and, as Marie Kondo would suggest, asking yourself which items in your life spark joy**

Now is The Perfect Time to Start

I’ve mostly avoided talking about coronavirus on this blog because I haven’t wanted to be one more reminder of what’s happening in the world. But right now, I really feel like this habit is something that can be a source of pride and normalcy in the midst of the chaos. Many of us have been “getting ready for the day” less and less often. If we’re lucky, it’s because we’ve had the option to stay in our PJ’s and still do paid work.

But millions and millions of others have lost jobs and feel they don’t have anything specific to “get ready” for. In either case, there’s a temptation to tell ourselves, “I don’t have anybody important to see today.” 

But even if you’re not seeing anybody else. You’ll still see you today, and you are important. 

Getting ready doesn’t have to be for other people at all. It can simply be one more way to care for yourself. So if the pandemic seems to be cutting into your mental health, causing self-doubt or negative self-image, please consider “dressing for the person you want to be” as a form of self care in moments where you have nobody to impress but you.

The more your self-expression is in integrity with the person you want to be, the more often you’ll feel prideful in the way you show up every day.

So do it just for you and your future self, and see how it feels.

(P.S.: if you have a required uniform at your workplace, you may have limited freedom to do this, but you could still try it out on your days off, or after you come home from work. Or, you could use small accessories to show your personality and humanity even when you’re on the job.)

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Did this post resonate with you? If so, I’d love to hear from you! Leave a comment or send me a message to share your thoughts. For more uplifting content, check out some other posts on my blog, follow me on instagram @morgan_barbret, or sign up for the Self Love Atlas Newsletter!

Cheers, 

Morgan Rita Barbret