When I think of the word teammate, my mind immediately goes to popular American sports like football and baseball. I picture each member of a team having their unique positions and roles to fulfill, and they fulfill them in concert with the other players on the field. Everybody moves, everybody works, and every position is needed.

This ideal image of “teammates” has long informed my perception of what a teammate should be. Someone who consistently makes an equal contribution. 

That sort of talk about teamwork and equality is appealing because it sounds fair and just. To the naked eye, it seems manageable and “right.” 

But as I grow older, I’m noticing that it can be very difficult to strike this balance within everyday teams, because life has a knack for presenting us with limiting circumstances at random.

So in this post, we’ll acknowledge and validate the reasons why not all teams consist of perfectly equal contributions from their members. Then, I’ll offer a new metaphor for a teammate that will help you cut yourself some slack and be proud of the contributions you make, no matter what limitations you’re facing.

Who Your Teammates Are

In everyday life, our teammates are our partners, family members, close friends, and maybe even coworkers (I.e. anyone whom we share goals with).

Within these relationships, creating a dynamic where all contributions are “equal” is almost impossible to maintain because each of us have different strengths and weaknesses that vary across the span of our lifetimes.

We Can’t Always be the Star 

While many of us will have strong moments where we can provide everything we want to for our teams, every person will face a point in their life where their capacity to provide for others will be weakened (or perhaps even completely disabled) without warning and without our permission. 

This could be a result of health challenges, aging, the loss of a job, obligations to other teams we’re a part of, or an unexpected tragedy. But it also could be a result of limitations associated with your identities, such as unjust adoption/parenting/marriage restrictions placed on the LGBTQ+ community, the plethora of additional challenges people of lower income classes face, or perhaps even the limitations of being young (not having had enough time to collect necessary resources for what you’d like to do, like buying a house or getting a higher skilled job).

Some of these limitations imposed on us will change with time, and some won’t.

But regardless of what circumstances limit your contribution to your team, these limitations are not evidence that you are worth any less as a teammate. 

When we face limiting circumstances, it can be pretty painful.

Some common painful thoughts/feelings that result from these limitations include feeling like…

• we fall short
• others are contributing more than we are
• we aren’t doing or giving enough
• our efforts aren’t valuable
• we should be something we’re not
• or we’re behind (Check out the post, “How to Stop Feeling Behind”)

All these thoughts (and their neighbors) swirl together to deliver a painful blow to our self-worth. And I believe this is largely because our idealistic view of teams fails to consider the complexity of our human experience. 

What we call to mind when we think of traditional sports teams are people who are exceptionally skilled and strong. They have often spent their whole lives figuring out how to be the best at what they do. Realistically, this is not reflective of the average person’s ability to participate in their teams within their everyday lives.

A New Metaphor for Teamwork

I want to challenge you to think of teamwork not in terms of sports like football and baseball but instead as a relay.

Relay is a track and field sport consisting of multiple sections called legs. Each leg is run by a different member of the team. This means that only one person is running at a time rather than having an entire team with unique jobs or positions all fulfilling them at the same time.

If a member of your team is contributing more right now than you are, it may just be that they are running their leg of the race and you are gearing up for your own. 

Sometime in the future there will come a time in which you can contribute exactly what the team needs, but it doesn’t need to be right now, and there’s nothing wrong with you if you’re not the top contributor in any given moment. 

A crucial part of relay races is the changeover. This is the exchange of the baton from one runner to the next. For you, this is whenever you and your teammates step up and step down, contributing what you can as the team’s needs shift. 

This is extremely important because no one runner is supposed to do the whole race alone, the runners support one another and pass the baton several times before getting to the finish line. 

When your leg comes, it may involve different challenges or skillsets, and that’s okay. Regardless of what your portion of the race looks like, it is your job to get creative with making it your own and contributing what you can. Then, give yourself credit for whatever you uniquely bring to the table.

In Conclusion

Being a teammate doesn’t mean running the game as much as you can by yourself, it means you are a part of something that is better with you in it. You don’t have to run the race 100% of the time to be a valuable part of it. And you don’t have to be without limitations to contribute in creative ways. So if you want to be a good teammate, know that there isn’t as much pressure to do more and be perfect as it may seem. 

Spend some time hand selecting the ways in which you want to contribute that are realistic and attainable for you given your circumstances, and angle your life towards that.

Your team will thank you for it.

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Did this post resonate with you? If so, I’d love to hear from you! Leave a comment or send me a message to share your thoughts. For more uplifting content, check out some other posts on my blog, follow me on instagram @morgan_barbret, or sign up for the Self Love Atlas Newsletter!

Cheers, 

Morgan Rita Barbret