When life gets hard, where do you turn? Do you turn to friends? Faith? A therapist? A quiet place where you can be alone? Regardless of where you choose to turn, everyone needs something to lean on when times get tough. The things I turn to are what I like to call “anchors.”

When I think of someone who is overwhelmed by the challenges of their lives, I imagine a small boat in an ocean, thrashing around in a storm. 

The ocean represents the person’s life, and their little boat is the only thing they really have control over (i.e. themselves). The boat is smaller than the 10, 15, and perhaps even 30 foot waves crashing around it, and any observing bystander might wonder whether the boat is going to sail to safety or sink. 

Each person has moments where they are a little boat in a storm. And the people who make it through are the ones who either learn how to ride the roughest of waves, or find a way to get back to the shore and dock. 

In this post, I’ll explain how we can use metaphorical anchors help us get grounded when the waves of our lives feel overwhelming, and possibly even life-threatening. This is a way of lovingly getting ourselves back to shore.

In order to get back to shore during your worst storms, you’re going to need some anchors.

An “anchor” can be anything or anyone you can lean on to help you get back on track in your life. In other words, things that remind you of what you can do to make it through, and how.

My Original Anchor

After almost a decade of supporting one another through good and bad times, my best friend bought us matching bracelets with anchor charms on them, and with them came a card that read…

“Anchor, grounded: a source of ground and security for seafarers, the Anchor is a powerful symbol of stability and hope. It holds steady below the surface, despite the forces that attempt to move it. When in doubt, grab hold of one of the anchors in your life – whether it be a person, place, or thing – and trust that everything will be okay.” 

This was my friend’s way of saying that we are each other’s anchors. We both knew that having each other made navigating our lives far easier than they would have been without one another.

Today, while I always have my best friend as an anchor, I also seek out additional anchors (in the form of words and objects) to help keep me grounded as often as possible. 

Kinds of Anchors

Friends can be wonderful anchors, especially if they like you for who you are and are unconditionally loving. 

But not everyone has friends like this. And even if you do, sometimes your friends will be thrashing around in the waves of their own lives at the same time you are. 

So to play it safe, it’s best to have a plan B, or several other kinds of anchors, to help get you back to shore even if help from others isn’t immediately available to you. 

Anchors can be words, reminders, objects, people, or sounds that can help support you, offer wisdom, or encourage you when you really need it. 

Some people’s anchors include quotes, prayers or biblical verses, objects that they inherited or received as gifts, objects that symbolize something important to them, or anything that gives them comfort when they see, hold, or listen to it (of if an anchor is a person, then talking to or being with them counts as well). 

If we equip ourselves with a diverse array of anchors, then we will give ourselves the gift of tools to pull ourselves out of the water. That way, when our friends are fighting their own waves, we won’t find ourselves drowning.

What are your anchors? 

• Can you think of any words that have helped you when you really needed it?
• Are there any quotes or verses that remind you to work towards being the person you want to be?
• Are there any objects that provide you comfort when you’re feeling uncomfortable, sad, or discouraged?
• Can you think of something that helps you know what to do when you feel lost or confused?

Anything that comes to mind when answering these questions can be an anchor for you.

All you need to do to use them is make them readily available to yourself. Put them where you can see them, remind yourself to spend time near them. If it’s something that you can take a picture of or carry in your pocket, keep it with you. Or perhaps place it somewhere where you spend most of your time.

Then, when you find yourself feeling overwhelmed, take out that picture, look at the words on the wall, hold it in your hands or in your arms, and keep inching your way back towards the shore until you can truly feel grounded. 

My Main 3 Anchors (That are not people)

If you’re struggling to come up with your own anchors, here are a few that I use in my own life. Hopefully these examples can help with brainstorming your own!

1. Serenity Prayer Coin

Although I don’t consider myself religious, the serenity prayer has always helped me ground myself by encouraging me to focus on the things I can control. This has helped me spend my energy more efficiently, but has also motivated me to do things that I believe make a positive impact (i.e. volunteering frequently, criminal justice advocacy, and coaching).

“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.” 

I first discovered this prayer when reading Kurt Vonnegut’s classic anti-war novel, Slaughterhouse-Five

2. A Little Glass Turtle

I keep a little turtle that I inherited from my grandfather in a wooden box at my desk, and when I hold the turtle, it reminds me that I can take “turtle steps” to my goals, and that as long as I keep moving and keep taking one step after another, I’ll be making progress, no matter how small :).

(If you’re interested, I wrote a post all about turtle steps here –> “Baby Turtle Steps”)

3. A Heart with a Butterfly

Also in my wooden box, I keep a glass heart with a butterfly engraved in it. I think it was supposed to be a necklace, but I just keep it as is. This heart reminds me that if love is at the core of everything I do, then I’m on the right track. 

In addition, the butterfly symbolizes change and transformation. This reminds me that change is not only okay, but natural. And that I will go through many forms and iterations of myself as I grow and change throughout my life (as will everyone else).

To safeguard against the next big storm in your life, keep an eye out for possible anchors that can ground you.

Locating or gifting these things to yourself is an act of self-love and self-compassion. It’s a sign that you care about your own well-being and success. And if you already have anchors for yourself, get them out! Revisit them! Give them a chance to remind you of their wisdom and care, so you can feel “anchored” when you truly need it most. 

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Cheers, 

Morgan Rita Barbret