Whether it’s learning a new skill, taking care of our health and bodies, or working towards any other goal, almost all of us have started something we’ve never finished. In this post, you’ll find some simple steps to restarting something you’ve wanted to do, but never really followed through to completion.

For me, the thing I started but never finished was learning a second language.

On my one and only flight home from France, and after spending a month speaking primarily limited French, I remember thinking to myself “I’m going to study French every day until I’m Fluent!” 

And somehow after getting home… I didn’t touch French for almost three years after that. 

What happened? 

Once I got home, I got scared. Even though I had made a ton of progress in my language speaking skills, I felt ashamed of how little French I knew after studying it for four years (although it would be more accurate to say I “struggled with it” for four years). 

While I was trying to get myself to study, I had lots of “I should have” and “I could have” thoughts, and ended up feeling discouraged and disconnected from my goal. 

Ultimately, my own self judgement and shame scared me away from working towards something I really wanted. 

This week, I’m renewing my commitment to my goal. And this time, I’m being very strategic about it. 

I’d like to invite you to restart something with me! 

Think of a goal you’ve had in your life that you’re not actively working towards now. Something that you wanted at one point, but somehow it fell off your radar for a while. (Other things like this for me include: learning cardistry, building upper body muscle, learning to cook more soups, learning to play piano, cleaning out the basement, etc. Do you have anything like this?) 

Take a moment to brainstorm.

Have you thought of something? If yes, write it down somewhere or put a little metaphorical pin in it in your mind. Then try out some of the following steps with me. 

8 Steps to Un-Give-Up on Your Goal and Restart Your Journey

Note: You can use these steps to restart any goal at any time. It doesn’t matter how many times you tried, restarted, forgot about it, or gave up on it, all you need is the desire to try again.

1. Give yourself permission to restart

Many people believe that if they’ve stopped working towards something, then “that ship has sailed,” but if you really want to and you’re physically able, you can restart anytime! Don’t wait for permission, suggestions, or approval from anybody else to work towards something you want. 

Grant yourself that permission to start up again.

2. Explore why you gave up or stopped your efforts in the first place.

For me, I stopped studying language because I felt ashamed of how slow my progress was. And I was really hard on myself. This ended up discouraging me and causing me to avoid studying. 

Just exploring the emotions or barriers we faced before can give us a chance to better understand ourselves and what we can do to increase our chances of success this time around.

This time, I know that if I want to succeed at learning French, I’m going to need to be more compassionate with myself even when my progress is slow. 

3. Shift into a beginner’s mindset

A beginner’s mindset involves being okay with not having all the answers. Instead of being hard on yourself for not knowing “how” to do something, you adopt an attitude that says “I’m not supposed to know this yet, but I can figure it out.”

The beginner’s mindset also allows us to be open minded to new methods of learning instead of holding ourselves to high expectations and therefore placing unnecessary stress on ourselves. 

This really helps with avoiding intense frustration as we make lots of mistakes and learn new things, and it’s especially helpful when learning skills like playing an instrument or learning how to code. 

4. Locate your favorite part of working towards that goal, and adjust your approach

Think back to a time when you were previously pursuing this goal. Can you remember anything you enjoyed about it? What was the best part about working towards this? Whatever it was, see if there’s a way you can approach pursuing your goal this time that involves more of that. 

When I was studying French several years ago, my favorite thing about it was learning vocabulary that I use frequently, especially conversational words that involved supporting or encouraging friends. One way that I can add more of that to my language learning is to watch my favorite TV show, Queer Eye, in French. That will give me more exposure to language I’d love to use with people conversationally. 

How can you add more of your favorite part to your approach?

5. Locate your least favorite part of working towards that goal, and adjust your approach

Again, think back to a time when you were previously pursuing this goal. What was the worst part? What did you really NOT enjoy about it? Whatever it is, see if there’s a way you can approach pursuing your goal this time that involves less of that. 

For me, my least favorite part was memorizing how to conjugate verbs, and although that is an important part of learning the language, I don’t need to start there. So instead of memorizing them, I can just listen to French conversations and see if I pick up on any of it organically. 

How can you use less of your least favorite part in your approach?

6. Explore different possible strategies for pursuing that goal.

As I’ve heard some older individuals say, “there’s more than one way to skin a cat.” And although that saying makes me cringe, its sentiment is true. There is usually more than one way of achieving an aim.

So however you tried to achieve your goal before probably isn’t the only way. And getting a variety of strategies going won’t hurt either! Can you think of any ways to work towards your goal that you haven’t tried yet? Can you think of creative ways to make progress that would add variety to your efforts?

For me, much of my studying French was in a classroom setting, it involved making hundreds of flash cards and then having little word quizzes. Apart from that, I used Duolingo.

Now, I’m getting more into listening to podcasts, and that feels way more productive for me because, even if I don’t master every word I hear, I still get exposed to so many more phrases and vocabulary than I do when I’m focusing on learning one word at a time.

7. Plan out some small and easy steps to build momentum. 

What is the smallest thing you could possibly do to restart your goal? 

If your goal was to clean a room, the smallest thing you could do would likely be picking up one item and either throwing it in the trash or putting it in its place. Another small step could be putting one shirt on a hanger. 

Even if all you do today is one tiny step, that’s progress. And you can do one tiny step a day until you feel comfortable doing more, this will help you build momentum and confidence that you really can do the thing (whatever it is). 

Yesterday, my tiny step was to turn on a French podcast and repeat the words I recognized. I’m planning to keep taking small steps in small bits of time until working on this goal feels natural. 

Can you think of a couple of tiny steps for your goal?

8. Remind yourself that every step counts, no matter how small.

It’s too easy to get down on ourselves for not doing as much as we think we should. But the truth is, you don’t have to do much in a day to make progress, and missing a day (aka Having a blip day) really isn’t a big deal. 

So give yourself credit for even the smallest steps you take. Every one of them makes a difference. 

I’m wishing you the best of luck with restarting <3

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Did this post resonate with you? If so, I’d love to hear from you! Leave a comment or send me a message to share your thoughts. For more uplifting content, check out some other posts on my blog, follow me on instagram @morgan_barbret, or sign up for the Self Love Atlas Newsletter!

Cheers, 

Morgan Rita Barbret